Myrtle Gray’s journey of being rejected by her father at birth and coming face to face with him at 15 has led her to write a book to give a voice to children who shared similar experiences.
The book, titled The Fatherless Daughter: The Invisible Dad, was launched at the South Boulevard Café in Gqeberha on Thursday.
The 45-year-old life coach was born in Livingstone Hospital in Gqeberha and raised in Klipfontein.
She attended Gelvandale High School before dropping out in grade 9 and running away to Johannesburg at 15 after meeting her father.
The book deals with the first father figure she acknowledged, forgiveness, rejection and self-care.
In this book I share not only my story, but the stories of other women to prevent similar scenarios from occurring in the future
“In this book I share not only my story, but the stories of other women to prevent similar scenarios from occurring in the future.
“I have not written the book so that people can feel sorry for me or hate my father or my mother.
“I wrote the book so those fathers can realise the impact their absenteeism has on children.
“Not only daughters but sons as well.”
She said the book was also aimed at teaching parents how to look after their children.
Gray said the situation with her father had a severe impact on her life and how she acted in relationships.
“I had four boyfriends in my life. I got married to the fourth one too.
“Before I met my husband, Larry, none of my relationships and friendships lasted.
“Love, attention and affection were foreign to me. My emotional development was zero.”
Look a little deeper and find a space in your heart to have empathy for your parents or whoever did something to you and forgive
Gray said fatherless children should realise that whatever their parents did was about the personalities and insecurities of their parents.
“Look a little deeper and find a space in your heart to have empathy for your parents or whoever did something to you and forgive.
“It hurts like hell. But to move forward, you cannot hang on to their nonsense. That belongs to them.”
Gray said her father never apologised to her and her mother for what he done, but she had forgiven him.
“I wrote a letter to him, but he passed away on my birthday two years ago, before I could give it to him.
“In this letter, I told him that everything was all right and that he did not have to apologise.
“I heard from people that he was suffering after his wife passed on.”
She said there were more books to follow detailing how she navigated through life after running away to Johannesburg, where she still resides.
HeraldLIVE
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