Turning grief into grace: Myrtle Fleming’s lifelong mission of healing

After losing her 21-year-old son in 1990, Myrtle Fleming could have been broken by grief. Instead, she chose to turn her pain into purpose.

Through The Compassionate Friends (TCF) organisation, the retired East London teacher found a path to healing by helping others. Now 85, Flemming has spent more than three decades comforting and supporting parents who, like her, have experienced the unimaginable loss of a child.

“I saw how much comfort grieving parents gave each other through their shared pain. Helping others helped me heal,” Fleming said.

The Compassionate Friends was founded in 1969 in England by Dr Simon Stephens, who was just 17 at the time and had lost his entire family in a car crash. While volunteering at a hospital, he observed two parents of terminally ill children finding solace in one another — a moment that planted the seed for a network of support where bereaved families could connect across race, age, and background.

For Fleming, this mission became more than a support network — it became her life’s calling.

Born in Khartoum, Sudan, to Scottish missionary parents, Fleming was raised with strong values of care and compassion. Those principles still guide her today as she continues to offer solace through phone calls, home visits, and monthly support meetings, always creating a space where people feel heard, understood, and less alone.

“The pain of losing a child never goes away, but knowing someone understands can make all the difference,” she said.

Fleming’s dedication remains unwavering. She supports families who have lost children of all ages — from stillborn babies to young adults — drawing from her own painful experiences.

“Not only did I lose my son, but I also lost two other children during pregnancy,” she said. “I don’t have any grandchildren, but I always say the organisation is my baby.”

Running the East London chapter of TCF, however, hasn’t been easy. The group is not a registered nonprofit organisation (NPO), and Fleming has funded most of its work from her own pocket.

“We get a few donations, but my own savings are running low — my last real holiday was 35 years ago with my son, and since then, I’ve only travelled to meet grieving parents,” she said.

Her home, she adds, is more than just a place to live. “My phone is always on, my door always open; whether it’s a newly bereaved mother in Prague or a couple mourning a stillbirth here at home, I am always ready to listen, to care, and to walk alongside them in their grief.”

Daily Dispatch Local Hero nominee Sheryn Ewing said Fleming’s work resonated with her after the loss of her own brother to suicide after a struggle with depression.

“I will forever be grateful to Myrtle because after losing someone close to you, you start blaming yourself and living with guilt, but Myrtle made the journey a lot more bearable.”

“For more than 40 years, Myrtle has dedicated her life to this cause”

Her message, Ewing added, is simple but powerful: “Healing begins with connection.”

“She encourages anyone who has lost a loved one to reach out to The Compassionate Friends, where shared sorrow is met with compassion, understanding, and hope.”

Daily Dispatch