Small business development minister Stella Ndabeni beamed with pride at the weekend as she welcomed her son, Kusisispho, home after his initiation, urging him to resist drugs and alcohol and to remain true to his values.
The homecoming took place on Saturday at her family homestead in KuSakhela, near Mthatha, where relatives, traditional leaders and friends gathered to mark the milestone.
Instead of the now trending practice where the mother of the ikrwala (the newly graduate) and other women are seen dancing and brandishing expensive brandy, whisky and ciders at such ceremonies, women arrived with baskets filled with grapes, bananas, oranges, Ultramel custard, sugar and other edibles.
Ndabeni said: “I wanted the focus to be on the cultural significance of the occasion and to avoid any unnecessary risks associated with alcohol consumption."
“This was a deliberate choice.”
When Kusisispho emerged from the family kraal, wrapped in the check blankets of amakrwala, he was greeted by more than 50 men led by his grandfather, Chithibhunga Ndabeni, 75.
His mother was struck by the change in him.
“He looked stronger, more confident and more mature,” she said.
“My son’s initiation has marked an important transition in his life, and I am determined to support him every step of the way.”
With her voice trembling, she warned him against substance abuse.
“You are growing into a strong and responsible young man. Remember to always stay on the right path and make good choices.”
The young man, smiling at his mother, nodded in quiet acknowledgment.
Ndabeni — known by her clan name MaFaku — admitted she had been anxious when her son went to initiation school.
“I was putting my hopes in God. We were praying every day at midnight, 3pm and 3am. Those who are sangomas were performing indigenous rituals, evoking the spirit of the ancestors, to ensure his safety.”
when he came home healthy and strong, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and joy
She spoke of her relief at his safe return.
“As a mother, I had always been concerned about his well-being. The fear of the unknown gripped my heart, especially hearing stories of other parents losing their sons.
“But when he came home healthy and strong, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and joy.”
Now wearing the traditional attire of an ikrwala, Kusisispho has joined the ranks of abafana, or men, and is expected to take on greater responsibilities in the family and community.
Traditional leaders said the nearly month-long programme had instilled values of discipline, hard work, respect and responsibility.
Among those who shared words of wisdom were Nkosi Langa Mavuso of the National House of Traditional and Khoi-San Leaders, Nkosi Minenkulu Joyi and Nkosi Mfundo Mtirara of the Eastern Cape House of Traditional and Khoi-San Leaders.
Women leaders, including Queen MaDosini Tina Ndamase of AmaMpondo AseNyandeni and Nkosikazi Nobhongo Ngonyama, also offered guidance.
Ndabeni said she hoped her son would grow into “a man of substance, a man that fears God, a man that does not abuse women, and one who treats people with respect and humility irrespective of their social status”.
“Every parent wants to see a son who is a role model to others, upholding the family name and our cultural values.
“As a mother, I now expect him to take on more responsibilities, such as contributing to family decisions and caring for his younger siblings,” she said.
Her relief came against the backdrop of a difficult winter initiation season in which 11 deaths were recorded across the province — seven in the OR Tambo district, two in Buffalo City Metro and two in Alfred Nzo. Three penile amputations were also reported.
For Ndabeni, the safe return of her son was reason for gratitude.
“I am thankful to God that he has come back strong and alive,” she said.
Daily Dispatch
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