Viva revolutionary solidarity, viva! Back to your labours, workers of South Africa, inspired by the knowledge that you and I are helping to keep Cuba’s unemployment rate near zero!
These were the glad tidings in parliament this week, as stand-in health minister Mmamoloko Kubayi-Ngubane confirmed that a “brigade” of 119 Cuban doctors would be staying in South Africa for another year, at a cost of R83m.
The way the story was reported, with opposition politicians demanding explanations and the minister having to “defend” the extension, made it sound like a bad thing.
I would argue, however, that at this point in the death spiral of ethics and professionalism in this country, spending R83m on the services of 119 Cubans who’ve, at the very least, been inside a medical school feels like serious value for money.
Put another way, that’s about R700,000 per doctor for an entire year. Compare that to Zweli Mkhize’s hiring of Digital Vibes, which allegedly charged R3m to write an e-mail to the SABC that read: “Helo SABC how r u? Zweli want to cum on TV today to talk about sum shit, OK c u l8r, bye.”
According to Kubayi-Ngubane the Cuban “brigade”, which includes epidemiologists and public health specialists, is being kept on in SA because it offers skills that are in short supply or “not equitably distributed across the country”.
I can confirm that, right now, there are 250,000 epidemiologists and 600,000 public health experts all congregated in one place: the comments on my Facebook page
I don’t want to deny the skills of South African medical personnel or see them elbowed out by Cubans, but in this instance I do believe the minister about the geographical distribution of expertise. Indeed, I can confirm that, right now, there are 250,000 epidemiologists and 600,000 public health experts all congregated in one place: the comments on my Facebook page.
That, however, is as far as I can support her and the health ministry.
Pragmatists might argue that, given the intensity of the Covid-19 crisis in Gauteng, we need all the help we can get. But importing Cuban doctors has nothing to do with delivering good and speedy medical care.
If the ANC cared about that it wouldn’t have closed down nursing colleges years ago or Covid-19 field hospitals, despite being told a third wave was coming. It wouldn’t have fiddled for 60 days as the Charlotte Maxeke hospital remained a charred shadow of its former self. And it certainly wouldn’t have allowed all that PPE money to be looted or rolled out one of the most reluctant vaccination programmes in the world.
No, the continued presence of the Cuban doctors in SA is surely nothing but political quid pro quo: we get some pros and Cuba gets some quid, even if it’s just grotty old rands.
I mean, sure, the doctors don’t actually get any of the money and Transparency International rates Cuba as only slightly less corrupt than SA, which means there’s a fairly strong chance you and I have just entered into a sort of timeshare arrangement where we each contribute a very small amount of money to buying fine rum and excellent cigars for Cuban apparatchiks.
But it sure beats buying pointy shoes and porcelain whippets for Digital Vibes, doesn’t it?
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